Stealing my pictures from my mother's camera
I believe I took all of them
July 10, 2009
June 15, 2009
La'Bri Update
After a lot of prayer and "arguing" and "discussing" with God, myself, family, and friends
God has shown me it is not my time to go to La'Bri
I still believe He may want me to go sometime in the near future
but not any time that I was planning
I believe He wants me to stop trying to make plans that He knows harm me rather than help me - I tend to become slave to the plans I make and when things don't work out, I freak out
So, I'm putting La'Bri off for a while
For those of you who have given me money, I will still use it for La'Bri (unless God completely doesn't want me going and has plans for me elsewhere)
and the money is in the bank with "La'Bri" "written" on it
Lol, I'm using a lot of quotation marks
So yeah, that's where I'm at now
God has shown me it is not my time to go to La'Bri
I still believe He may want me to go sometime in the near future
but not any time that I was planning
I believe He wants me to stop trying to make plans that He knows harm me rather than help me - I tend to become slave to the plans I make and when things don't work out, I freak out
So, I'm putting La'Bri off for a while
For those of you who have given me money, I will still use it for La'Bri (unless God completely doesn't want me going and has plans for me elsewhere)
and the money is in the bank with "La'Bri" "written" on it
Lol, I'm using a lot of quotation marks
So yeah, that's where I'm at now
June 06, 2009
La'Bri Blog
I will be going to La'Bri in Switzerland (a Bible Institute founded by Francis Schaeffer) hopefully in August.
I've been asked to post a blog, and instead of making a new one, I'll just use my old one
I'm too lazy at this point to look through my blog and delete anything, so I hope there's nothing too terrifying on it :P
But yes, this is the beginning of my La'Bri blogg
It will probably cost me around $5,000 and I will try to be there for four monthsss
annnd, if I find someone who I can trust, I will try to travel around Europe a little bit too
xD
I've been asked to post a blog, and instead of making a new one, I'll just use my old one
I'm too lazy at this point to look through my blog and delete anything, so I hope there's nothing too terrifying on it :P
But yes, this is the beginning of my La'Bri blogg
It will probably cost me around $5,000 and I will try to be there for four monthsss
annnd, if I find someone who I can trust, I will try to travel around Europe a little bit too
xD
January 21, 2009
Will You Remember Me Tomorrow
I really like this song
and I kind of dance like her - shows you how bad I am.. elohel
^.^
I feel schizophrenic (woah, I spelled that right the first time) - this blog will sometimes be serious, sometimes be completely random
January 04, 2009
Suicide
I'm writing this for really anyone I personally know
But I guess it's mostly for those I go to school with
(This note is mostly for the girlies I know. Sorry, guys, you'd require a whole new note)
I'm writing this because I want you to know who I am..and I would really appreciate some feedback. This note is what I've been wanting to say out loud - but never found the courage or the right time.
I know I'm quiet and not very open, and may even seem rude at times. I'm sorry. The truth is, I'm terrified. I often see how close you are to one another or how you guys can talk or whatever (often little tings) and I get extremely jealous. "I remember having a friend like that once." "I want that kind of relationship." "I wish I could be that way."...but then I think that if I try to be a part of your relationships, I'll impose and ruin things. Then I close myself off - hoping that if you really wanted me, maybe I wouldn't ruin things. If I close myself off, you'll come and get me. I know how wrong this is - expecting you to read my mind and come pull me out of my self-pity. I need to get out of my home-made coffin, my "safe haven" and actually put out effort....
This is my attempt.
It is very hard for me to dislike someone. (However, many guys I know right now kind of are-sorry-nothing personal, you're just of the male species :P) If I push you away, it's usually just because I'm afraid I'll hurt you, or because I think you're talking to me just to be nice (you know-you have to include everyone....) I often push away to see if you're willing to "put up a fight" for me. To see if you really care. I'm really tring to break this. And right now I'm epically failing. I need help.
I guess what I'm is: I love you all. I'm just afraid I'm not good enough for you.
I'm entralled with all of you (people in general amaze me) and I don't want to push you away.
One thing that would really help me in my "quest for friendship" (haha?) is I would really appreciate it if you told me if you would rather me leave you alone (I don't care if you hate me - I only fear I'm hurting/annoying you) or if you'd like to be friends, or.......
I need to know what you want from me. I need to know what I can to reach out-to stop being so complacent. I need to know how to not hurt you-whether that means you would like me to say hi or even hug you when you walk in the room, whether that means you just want to hang out, I don't know..lol. I'm willing to do anything. I just need to know
I'm sick of the self-absorbed me-I need to die.
Help?
(ugh, I know this sounds really cheesy and I'm sorry-not really sure what else to do)
But I guess it's mostly for those I go to school with
(This note is mostly for the girlies I know. Sorry, guys, you'd require a whole new note)
I'm writing this because I want you to know who I am..and I would really appreciate some feedback. This note is what I've been wanting to say out loud - but never found the courage or the right time.
I know I'm quiet and not very open, and may even seem rude at times. I'm sorry. The truth is, I'm terrified. I often see how close you are to one another or how you guys can talk or whatever (often little tings) and I get extremely jealous. "I remember having a friend like that once." "I want that kind of relationship." "I wish I could be that way."...but then I think that if I try to be a part of your relationships, I'll impose and ruin things. Then I close myself off - hoping that if you really wanted me, maybe I wouldn't ruin things. If I close myself off, you'll come and get me. I know how wrong this is - expecting you to read my mind and come pull me out of my self-pity. I need to get out of my home-made coffin, my "safe haven" and actually put out effort....
This is my attempt.
It is very hard for me to dislike someone. (However, many guys I know right now kind of are-sorry-nothing personal, you're just of the male species :P) If I push you away, it's usually just because I'm afraid I'll hurt you, or because I think you're talking to me just to be nice (you know-you have to include everyone....) I often push away to see if you're willing to "put up a fight" for me. To see if you really care. I'm really tring to break this. And right now I'm epically failing. I need help.
I guess what I'm is: I love you all. I'm just afraid I'm not good enough for you.
I'm entralled with all of you (people in general amaze me) and I don't want to push you away.
One thing that would really help me in my "quest for friendship" (haha?) is I would really appreciate it if you told me if you would rather me leave you alone (I don't care if you hate me - I only fear I'm hurting/annoying you) or if you'd like to be friends, or.......
I need to know what you want from me. I need to know what I can to reach out-to stop being so complacent. I need to know how to not hurt you-whether that means you would like me to say hi or even hug you when you walk in the room, whether that means you just want to hang out, I don't know..lol. I'm willing to do anything. I just need to know
I'm sick of the self-absorbed me-I need to die.
Help?
(ugh, I know this sounds really cheesy and I'm sorry-not really sure what else to do)
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